Uzbekistan & Turkmenistan (aka, "The Yogurt Experiment") (aka, DILL-icious!!!)

Like San Marino, Azerbajian, and Armenia, Uzbekistan and Turkmenistan joined the UN on March 2nd, 1992.  I hope you have a few minutes, because this one is going to be a big post!

The first recipe that caught my eye was the Gurt, aka yogurt balls.  It really intrigued me, and I made up my mind pretty quickly that I wanted to make them.  The more I read about it though, the more I understood that this was intended as a way to preserve yogurt in a desert region, and the reviews indicated that they weren't the tastiest.  To make Gurt, I had to make Suzme, which lead me to a spread and a drink also made from Suzme, also intriguing, also I had to make them.  And if I made the spread I have to make a flatbread to spread it on, of course.  None of which helped me with a real dish that I could bring to a meal others would actually enjoy, so I kept looking for more recipes.

I narrowed it down to vegetable stew and potato boats, and after hemming and hawing I finally gave up and decided to make both.

So what's the count now?  1, 2, 3... 6 recipes?  Seven if you include the "pre-recipe" recipe for Suzme.  I guess I was a little over excited for this dinner.

I actually read the recipes the week before, so I actually had the time to make Gurt (which takes 5 days to air dry)!  If you remember the injera debacle, I have a bad habit of not reading the full recipe until the day of.  If the recipe takes more than a day to complete I end up screwing myself over.  But not this time!

Even getting one recipe out of the way early, the amount of work I volunteered for was a little ridiculous.  This didn't really sink in until the morning of the dinner when I laid out all the ingredients on my counter to check I had everything.

Don't get me wrong, all those fresh veggies looked so good, but there was so much!

3 hours and one injured finger later...

Now I could finally start cooking.  After 3 hours of work.  What was I thinking?!?!

4 hours after that I finished cooking.

Side note, everything had dill in it.  And the more dill I chopped, and the more I smelt it, the more I decided I like dill.  After I was done with everything I could still smell it on my skin and it was like... mmmmmmmmmmm.

Even after spending, literally, all day cooking six dishes, I am still of an opinion that having done just one dumpling recipe would have been more work.

The first thing opened up at Amber's was the Gurt.  Hilariousness ensued.  I didn't think they were nearly as sour-yogurty as I thought they would be based on the reviews I read, but others had other opinions.  I wish I had a good photo of Bryan and Jenny's reactions to it.  Their faces were like they just cleaned their floor with their tongue.  The best I can do it the post-post-Gurt photo of them guzzling whatever liquid they could get their hands on to cleanse the taste from their mouth.

The Gurt was more commonly referred to as yogurt balls, unfortunate for me since I seemed to be incapable of enunciating the "-rt" in "yogurt" which meant every time I said it I ended up saying "yoga balls".  I was pleasantly surprised at how little heckling I had to take for this, and it actually seemed to be accepted at one point.

Now that it was established that these balls were not a form of nourishment, they quickly transitioned in to science experiment.  Out of curiosity I offered one to Jack (the CUTEST witty poochy-pooch-pooch EVER!) and to all our surprise he actually ate it.  So they could be used a dog treats at least.

Next up, the microwave.  I thought that they would get dryer and harder then they already were, Jenny thought they might melt, but to our surprise and delight it started growing in size.  It jumped around a bit and puffed up until it started to brown which is when we his the stop button.

 
Of course the next question was who's going to try it.

Bryan bravely volunteered as taste tester, and after a bite, and to our shock, declared an improvement on the taste.  Nobody believed him, so I took a nibble.  It's true!  It tasted better.  It was airier and chewier, and had more of a burnt-cheese, pizza-crusty flavor.  Almost palatable!

Having ignited some appetites, or just the need to get the taste out of our mouths, Bryan pulled out a ginormous can of dolmas. Apparently, Amber and Jenny went halvsies in this ridiculously sized can, and the phrase, "such a good deal", was used multiple times.

Trying to get a photo of Bryan's ever so skilled dolma plating technique, Amber just had to add her own flair.  At this point, I no longer question why Amber does what she does. I just embrace it, and then post it online.

I had been waiting for our final guest, Travis, to arrive, determined to get a good photo of someone making a sour face after eating one of those sour Gurts.  When he finally got here we subtly offered his a tasty yogurt treat.  I had the camera ready as he popped one in his mouth and...

He liked them?!?!?  That doesn't make for a good photo!  I guess I already have him crying on this blog, so it's only fair that I don't also have one of him making a stank face.

By then it was about time for Jenny, Amber, and I to finish our dishes (no I'm not done cooking yet).  Amber got the kebabs going, Jenny started on her rice, and I heated up some oil to do some deep frying!

Note: as Amber was getting ready to start grilling, Bryan agreed to start the grill for her but insisted multiple times that she will be doing all the actual grilling herself.  We will revisit this story line shortly, pay attention folks.

My oil almost hot enough, I peer into Jenny's pot on the stove top next to mine.  As I did so, Jenny confidently, with a hint of aggression, plopped/threw two whole, unpeeled heads of garlic into the pot and looked up at me into my eyes, possibly into my soul, with an expression on her face as if to say, "DARE NOT CHALLENGE ME!"

I just stared back in shock, my emotions running wild.  So many thoughts passed through my head...
What the hell is she doing?
Is this some sort of joke?
No, there's no hint of her reaching to fish them out, she is definitely serious about this.
Why is she staring at me like that?
She did that very confidently.
Since she was so intentional about this she must know what shes doing.
Right?

Though only a faction of a second passed she was already giggling uncontrollably at my dumbfounded reaction.  Still, she managed to get enough words out to reassure me that, yes, this was what the recipe called for, and yes, we all agree that it was weird.  Accept it and move on.

Though my oil hot enough, it was clear that Jenny's dish was going to take a little longer than expected.  Deep fry a yogurt ball to pass the time?  Why not?  It was in the oil only for a few second before we pulled it out, now brown. Most of us had the same thought and started yelling, "Bryan!" Reluctantly our taste tester took a bite and reported that it was worst deep fried. The inside had remained unchanged, now just surrounded in a thin layer of burnt. Bleh.

Amber an Bryan away grilling, and Jenny and I at the stove, Steven pull out his salad to mix all the ingredients together. When we next turned around to look what Steven was doing, he was vigorously shaking the salad container. Jenny and I both watched for about a second before yelling together, "Shake that salad!" Great minds, am I right?  Opposite of our sentiment, our outburst immediately caused Steven to stop shaking the salad, place the container down, and stare back at us bashfully. After a short while Jenny and I lost interest in making Steven super self-conscious and we returned to our own dishes. Little does Steven know, I snuck a video of his mad shaking skills after he returned to his work.

I finished with the oil, so of course we were going to deep fry a dolma. It really spit and danced in the oil, and we only pulled it out when it seemed to start to unwrap. After we pulled it out we searched for our trusty taste tester, but he was busy at the grill and out of ear shot.

I say again, Bryan, not Amber, was busy grilling.  HA.

Table set, most of the food on the table, it was a perfect time to try the yogurt drink I made. After our experience with the balls, everyone looked less than enthused.  We decided to do shots of the drink, as nobody wanted to commit to much (or any) of it.  The plain version was plain.  I had also made one with cucumber, parsley, and dill (DILL!!!), so I pour that one out for a select few that didn't find the plain one totally off-putting.  This version, I actively enjoyed.  I did not, however, strain the herbs, which was a mistake.  After downing it, I had a tongue full of green and had to spit it out.  So I borrowed a strainer and filtered out a glass of the drink to enjoy with dinner.  So good.  Still have some in my fridge.

Bryan, too lazy to put in the effort for a selfie, took a nice group shot before we got going.

That was lie.  I had already started eating.

This dinner was beautiful with the rainbow of colors.  It also looked, dare I say it, healthy.

Included was the spread I made with the suzme, one of my personal favorites.  I'm so amazed that the balls, drink, and spread was all made from the same tub of yogurt, but they all tasted so different.

We ate until bursting, per the usual. I think most agreed that it was the best meal yet.

(Celebrated April 29th, 2017)