Vanuatu (Surprise UN Brunch Party!!!)

Vanuatu joined the UN September 16th, 1980.

Little did I know I would be celebrating it so soon.

We had some wine tasting in the calendar, and in order to get there on time I took a red eye in from Maryland, so when I was asked if I wanted to do a brunch that same weekend, my answer was no.  Gone the week before, no time to prep, nope, not gonna happen.

Did that stop my friends?  Nope.

Surprise UN Brunch Party Vanuatu!!!

Vanuatu is a Pacific Island Nation, so they eat a lot for fruits, fish, pig, and fowl, and is heavily influence by their surrounding countries.

Since I obviously did not have anything prepared, I help Amber cut some fruit with the help of YouTube since I have no idea how to prep Jackfruit.  Jackfruit, Lychee, Mango, Plums, Baby Bananas... Unfortunately, the Papaya didn't meet freshness standards so it had to go.

 

No too long for Jenny to get the banana pancakes done, so we got to dig in without (relatively) too much effort.

I think I'm addicted to Jackfruit now.

(Celebrated August 26th, 2018)

Belize (You better Belize it!)

Belize joined the UN September 25th, 1981.  Our first Central American Country!!!

My first step was to order some achiote paste, which from my reading was how many Central American countries often seasoned their dishes.  It's smelly, playdough consistency, and dyes everything red.  Your hands, plastic utensils, your counter, everything.

I chose to make Salbutes, which is very similar to Tostadas.  One of the ingredients was Stew Chicken, so I ended up making that as well.

As usual I spent the entire morning cooking.  While I was heating up some oil to fry the salbutes, I distracted myself with chopping up vegetables for the stew chicken, because if I didn't multitask I wasn't going to get it done.  Next thing I know, smoke is billowing out of the oil pan.  I move it off the heat but it continues to billow.  The fire alarm goes off as my small apartment quickly fills up with smoke.  I eventually can not longer breath, so I abandon my smoking oil and loud fire alarm to exit out the porch door with columns of smoke following me.  It must have been a sight.

A few quick trips into the inferno to turn on some fans, and 15min later I was able to get back to work, this time heating the oil to a lower temperature.

A few reasons let me to take an Uber to Iain and Laura's, out gracious host for this particular dinner.  (one of which was the banana daiquiri Iain was making.)  I arrived at Iain's five past six to find everyone already there.  A few minutes later I was lucky enough to witness the most hilarious preparation of a banana daiquiri ever.

It started with placing everything into a large cooking pot.  Step two was to take a hand mixer and futilely attempt to blend the ice with it.

After failing, everything was then transferred to a food processor after struggling to unstick the hardened honey form the hand mixer.  This was done in batches as the processor was too small to accommodate.

At this time we abandoned Iain to take a tour of the house, and when we got back we found him scooping the mess out with his hands because, and I quote, "we're all friends here."

I still had two servings.

A bit more cooking and dinner was served.

(Celebrated August 4th, 2018)

Antigua and Barbuda, & Saint Kitts and Nevis (Float like a butterfly, sting like a Killer Bee Cocktail)

Antigua and Barbuda joined the UN November 11th 1981, and Saint Kitts and Nevis joined September 23rd, 1983.

Truth time.  It's been over 3 weeks since we had this dinner.  I don't remember much.  Here's what I do remember:

1. I went to 3 different Asian markets to find passion fruit puree.
2. Pepper actually really is delicious in a cocktail.  Who knew?
3. It's possible to be addicted to plantains.
4. The food was FREAKING DELICIOUS.

(Celebrated July 7th, 2018)

Brunei (All-natural Dinner, Un-natural Dessert)

Brunei Darussalam joined the UN September 21, 1984.

Brunei is a dry nation.  No booze.  Which immediately prompted the question, "We're not doing that, are we?"

The last dinner did not have a dessert, so I was assigned dessert for this one, and boy, did I find some.

Fun ingredients...

... fun to make...

... not always so fun to sample...

For the Es Cendol, aka Bahn Loh, aka green stuff, I was shopping for the ingredients when I came across a packet for Bahn Loh that was a "just add water" sort of thing.  I made it.  But when I sampled it... well, see above photo.

I also made some crazy looking cup cakes that I was really excited to have as backup to the weird green stuff.

When I got to amber's I decided to go ahead and make the Es Cendol from scratch with the hope it would come out less gross.  Thank goodness it did.

I was done in a jiffy and had the joy of watching the others cook while I enjoyed a cold one.

In no time the other guests arrived and it was dinner time.  Cue the usual terrible group photo.

Not only was it delicious, it actually seemed relatively healthy too.  That is, until dessert.

Between the neon cupcakes and the green worms we all had doubts.  In fact, it was pretty good.  The only problem was the crash that arrived shortly after the sugar high.

(Celebrate May 12th, 2018)

Namibia (I bless the potjies down in Africa)

Namibia joined April 23rd, 1990.

I have never been to Namibia, but I can say that I've seen it from the shores of Botswana.

I wanted potjies.  I just didn't want to make them.  Because if I made one, I would want meat.  I would have zero motivation to make one without meat.  But by making one with meat it means I would have to make another with veggies anyway for the vegetarian in our group.  And I really didn't want to make one, much less two.  But here I am.  Making two potjies.

Fun fact, potjie is not pronounce pot-gee like and good American would think.  Instead it's pronounced poi-kee.  Where's the K?  I don't know.

Also fun fact, potjies are traditionally not stirred.  The goal is to have distinct flavors from bite to bite, instead of mixing and making all the flavors meld so each bite tastes the same.  The pot is strategically layered, typically with the meat at the bottom, then covered with veggies in order of what takes longest to least longest to cook, topped with broth, water, or even a coke if you're feeling it.  Then it's cooked for hours without stirring.

I chose lamb neck for my meat potjie, but after calling several butchers I realized there is no lamb neck in Seattle.  So I decide to go with whatever is at the store, and ended up with some chicken drumsticks.  If there's anything I learned about potjies in my research it's that Namibians use whatever is on hand or in season.  So I didn't feel bad about adjusting the ingredients as needed.

I start cooking around noon and get my two potjies going.  The veggie one cooks easily, but my meat one is just not going anywhere.  When I got to Jenny's it was clear that this was a problem, so I pulled the pot out of the crockpot and put it in the oven.  Worked like a charm!

Jenny and amber finish their dishes, as some of our guest make us some "Namibian" martinis.  Jenny got real, real excited when she added the peanut butter to her soup.

Everyone was getting antsy, so to waste the last minute we did some planks, followed by some down dog.

I was nervous about my dish since I hadn't stirred it and had no idea how the bottom layers were doing.  When we finally served it was awesome.  The chicken was fall off the bone tender, and it all tasted a-okay.  We even started talking about cooking a potjie in an actual potjie cast iron pot at our next camping trip.

The evening ended with Cards Against Humanity, which lead to shenanigans and somersaults.  Yes, I said somersaults.

(Celebrated April 21st, 2018)

Liechtenstein (He's blond! He's pissed! He'll see you in the list! Liechtenstein!!! Liechtenstein!!!)

Liechtenstein joined the UN September 18, 1990, and is our 35th country and 24th Dinner Party.  Can you believe it!?!?  18% of the way there!

In case you don't understand the lyrics that this post is tagged with I suggest watching A Knight's Tale with Heath Ledger.  Great movie.  Throughout the dinner I was also singing this, and I only found out later in the evening that my friends thought I made it up.  Yes, that sounds like me, but no, not this time.

Upon searching all of the net for Liechtensteiner recipes I declared that they only eat three things: pancake, schnitzel, and mac and cheese.  A brief moment on Rosti, my friends convinced me of making Kasknopfle (don't ask me how to pronounce it).  A little more searching and I found mention of how they both grow and eat a lot of asparagus.  Something green with fiber!  My intestines were already thanking me.

So I researched how schnitzel is made (since this was the noodle in kasknopfle), and while I would typically just McGyver something I already own to fit my needs I decided this time I would go crazy and buy a schnitzel maker, which was basically a super dull cheese grater.  No idea how this was going to work.

I get to Amber's early and we talk her puppy to the park, with the added bonus of watching her lead him around holding on to his collar because she forgot to grab a leash.  Then back to the house for the usual cooking frenzy.

After I made my batter, I was discussing how it looked like a small amount and next thing I know people are yelling at me to double it.  It really didn't look like a lot, so I agreed and doubled it.

SO MUCH SPATZEL.

I was super nervous about using my spatzel maker, but once I got started I was freaking out at how cool it was.  Spatzel dough is much runnier than typical pasta dough, so it dripped through the holes into the boiling water creating these drops of deliciousness.

But holy cow that was a lot of spatzel.

Liechtenstein was very reminiscent of Switzerland with all the cheese, which made sense since they were border buddies, but we have learned from our mistake and made sure we have some fibrous side dishes as well.  It made for a freakin' delicious meal.

After dinner we played some games until Jenny realized that she still needed to make her dessert.  The look on her face gave me the impression that she fully intended to try not to cook dessert so late, so I made sure to let her know that I fully intended to have my pancake and eat it too.

She gave in quite easily, and we were all glad she did, because it was yummy.

(Celebrated March 17th, 2018)

Ukraine (Will trade beverages for pyrizkies)

The Ukrainian Soviet Socialist Republic joined the UN on October 24th, 1945. Then they won their independence and joined again on April 24th, 1991.  If it were up to me I would go with the first date, but, whatever.

So I have had some piroshki recipes set aside for when we get to Russia in 15 years, but the Ukraine has an almost indistinguishably similar food called a pyrizhky.  The only thing that's different is the pyrizhkies are traditionally football shaped.  Close enough.  Making them!

We were supposed to celebrate at Jenny's, just Amber, Jenny, and I.  Bryan wasn't going to make the trek, so he obviously doesn't like piroshkis as much as he says he does.  Instead, he decided to put his sales skills to the test and started enticing us with warm fires and adult beverages.

Well, it worked.  We abandoned our plans to meet at Jenny's, donned our bras (or maybe that was just me), and headed to Amber and Bryan's.

The moment I entered the house I was offered a beverage (yes please).  Jenny and Amber had been flipping through a big book of mixed drinks and already had a list going.

We had a few drinks, while we cooked.

I was clear everyone was staying the night, and Amber and Jenny had the foresight to blow up the spare bed.  I was then viciously attacked by Jenny with a pillow that got me screaming up and down the hallway.  We eventually finished the dinner, and had a few more drinks while we ate.

I must say, my "pyrizkies" turned out pretty freaking good, to my pleasant surprise.  Then we had a few more drinks, played some games, and then had a few more drinks.  After failing at some Drawful (Pictionary) and dumping a bag of almonds all over their couch, it was clearly time for bed.

The next morning's atmosphere was not as up beat.  In fact, I think the goal was to be as down beat as possible.  Often when staying the night the next morning we would have some delicious breakfast.  This time it was reduced to toast and aspirin.

(Celebrated February 17th, 2018)

Korea!!! (NEVER AGAIN WILL I COOK KOREAN FOOD)

Both The Republic of Korea (South) and the Democratic People's Republic of Korea (North) joined the UN on September 17th, 1991.

FINALLY!!!  A meal in a different region of the world!  We were SO excited.  Also, it's Korean food, heeeeeeeeey!

I had trouble deciding, so I chose a couple easy dishes.  Unlike Amber, who chose one RIDICULOUS recipe.

Though the recipes were simple, finding the ingredients was a challenge.  It took me 3 days and 4 grocery stores to find what I needed.

I decided to prep the toasted walnuts in apricots a day early.  First, I decided to shell my own walnuts.  Don't do what I did.  Go to the store, and buy pre-shelled walnut halves like the lazy American you are, because... What A Pain.  How does anyone extract an intact walnut half from the laberyth that is a walnut shell is beyond me.  After shelling 30 walnuts, this is how many halves (and "almost" halves) I got.

Then (Mother Almighty) I had to roll them up in dried apricot.  Doesn't sound hard, but IT IS.  First you have to get those sticky things to lay flat, then cut them square and lay them together despite their best efforts to stay adhered to your hands, then somehow roll that sticky mess up.

It was MISERABLE!  Two ingredients and several hours later I completed the following:

NEVER AGAIN WILL I WRAP WALNUTS IN APRICOTS.

While I was peeling apricots off myself Amber was kind enough to call to ask how much spicy was too spicy for me.  My friends know I'm a spicy wimp, so I appreciated her asking.  The peppers she held up to the screen didn't look too intense, so I gave the go ahead to follow the recipe.

Day of, packed up, and headed over.

I had bought way too much sweet potato, so I ask how much I should prepare, to which Jenny responded, "ALL OF IT!"  Why did I listen?

I chop it up and started frying... and frying... and still frying.  Finally I had to let my sous-chef (Bryan) take over so I could get to work on my other tasks.

Meanwhile, Amber and Jenny are stirring up a zillion small dished for the bibop?  bimbobap?  Bibimbap.  I watched her taste the dish I had permitted peppers to be added to the day before, and listened to her yell, "WOW that's hot".  The peppers didn't look that crazy on my tiny cellphone screen.  Based on her reaching, I steered clear of that dish.

So next I made the sugar coating for the Candied Sweet Potato.

WTF.

So there's a VERY short period of time between when the sugar is soft enough to coat your potato in, and when it hardens in to a ROCK HARD piece of caramel.  Did I know this?  No.  But I found out pretty quick when it hardened in the pan and on the spoon, and NOT mind you, on the potato.  Not fully understanding what was happening, I turned around and begged for help, but it was too late.  I thought about trying again, but everyone agreed that we would be happy just eating un-candied deep fried sweet potato.

Though it was fun to take turns breaking off pieces of some delicious caramel, I never what to try to candy coating anything again.

Cooking has been a bit of a struggle so far but the last thing to do was to fry the rice patties.  How hard could that be?  I mix the batter, pat it into a disk and fry it.  The recipe says "press down" so I take my spatula and press.  When I lift it up again my pan is empty.  It's empty because the rice patty is now adhered surprisingly well to the back of the spatula.

<sigh>

Never again will I try to make these stupid little rice patties.

I'm usually pretty good at reigning in my tornado-like cooking style of getting everything everywhere, but not this time.  With all the speed bumps in my recipes I was at the end of my rope, and I felt like I needed to buy my friends a new kitchen because I destroyed theirs.

Finally got it done, and it was dinner time!

Master Rice Fluffer

Master of Rice-Colored Fluffness

In addition to all that food there were a few Korean alcoholic beverages available.  I brought Makgeolli (MAHK-oh-lee), which is a rice liquor, which lead me to Korean drinking etiquette:

"Each diner is expected to face away from the eldest male and cover his mouth when drinking alcohol. According to Hyang Eum Ju Rye, the drinking etiquette established in Choseon Dynasty, it is impolite for a king and his vassal, a father and his son, or a teacher and his student to drink face to face. Also, a guest should not refuse the first drink offered by host, and in the most formal situations, the diner should politely refuse twice a drink offered by the eldest male or a host. When the host offers for the third time, then finally the guest can receive it. If the guest refuses three times, drink is not to be offered any more."

Suffice to say, for the rest of the evening everyone was covering their mouth and looking away form Bryan (the oldest, and only male at the dinner).

Hilarious.

After dinner was dessert.  It was weird.  Bean paste filled doughnuts and baked sweet rice somethings.  I rather enjoyed the weirdness, but opinions were across the board.

Everything was delicious.  If you've never had Korean food, you should try it.  However, I, personally, will be walking to the nearest Korean restaurant because I WILL NEVER COOK KOREAN FOOD AGAIN.

(Celebrated January 6th, 2018)