Uzbekistan & Turkmenistan (aka, "The Yogurt Experiment") (aka, DILL-icious!!!)

Like San Marino, Azerbajian, and Armenia, Uzbekistan and Turkmenistan joined the UN on March 2nd, 1992.  I hope you have a few minutes, because this one is going to be a big post!

The first recipe that caught my eye was the Gurt, aka yogurt balls.  It really intrigued me, and I made up my mind pretty quickly that I wanted to make them.  The more I read about it though, the more I understood that this was intended as a way to preserve yogurt in a desert region, and the reviews indicated that they weren't the tastiest.  To make Gurt, I had to make Suzme, which lead me to a spread and a drink also made from Suzme, also intriguing, also I had to make them.  And if I made the spread I have to make a flatbread to spread it on, of course.  None of which helped me with a real dish that I could bring to a meal others would actually enjoy, so I kept looking for more recipes.

I narrowed it down to vegetable stew and potato boats, and after hemming and hawing I finally gave up and decided to make both.

So what's the count now?  1, 2, 3... 6 recipes?  Seven if you include the "pre-recipe" recipe for Suzme.  I guess I was a little over excited for this dinner.

I actually read the recipes the week before, so I actually had the time to make Gurt (which takes 5 days to air dry)!  If you remember the injera debacle, I have a bad habit of not reading the full recipe until the day of.  If the recipe takes more than a day to complete I end up screwing myself over.  But not this time!

Even getting one recipe out of the way early, the amount of work I volunteered for was a little ridiculous.  This didn't really sink in until the morning of the dinner when I laid out all the ingredients on my counter to check I had everything.

Don't get me wrong, all those fresh veggies looked so good, but there was so much!

3 hours and one injured finger later...

Now I could finally start cooking.  After 3 hours of work.  What was I thinking?!?!

4 hours after that I finished cooking.

Side note, everything had dill in it.  And the more dill I chopped, and the more I smelt it, the more I decided I like dill.  After I was done with everything I could still smell it on my skin and it was like... mmmmmmmmmmm.

Even after spending, literally, all day cooking six dishes, I am still of an opinion that having done just one dumpling recipe would have been more work.

The first thing opened up at Amber's was the Gurt.  Hilariousness ensued.  I didn't think they were nearly as sour-yogurty as I thought they would be based on the reviews I read, but others had other opinions.  I wish I had a good photo of Bryan and Jenny's reactions to it.  Their faces were like they just cleaned their floor with their tongue.  The best I can do it the post-post-Gurt photo of them guzzling whatever liquid they could get their hands on to cleanse the taste from their mouth.

The Gurt was more commonly referred to as yogurt balls, unfortunate for me since I seemed to be incapable of enunciating the "-rt" in "yogurt" which meant every time I said it I ended up saying "yoga balls".  I was pleasantly surprised at how little heckling I had to take for this, and it actually seemed to be accepted at one point.

Now that it was established that these balls were not a form of nourishment, they quickly transitioned in to science experiment.  Out of curiosity I offered one to Jack (the CUTEST witty poochy-pooch-pooch EVER!) and to all our surprise he actually ate it.  So they could be used a dog treats at least.

Next up, the microwave.  I thought that they would get dryer and harder then they already were, Jenny thought they might melt, but to our surprise and delight it started growing in size.  It jumped around a bit and puffed up until it started to brown which is when we his the stop button.

 
Of course the next question was who's going to try it.

Bryan bravely volunteered as taste tester, and after a bite, and to our shock, declared an improvement on the taste.  Nobody believed him, so I took a nibble.  It's true!  It tasted better.  It was airier and chewier, and had more of a burnt-cheese, pizza-crusty flavor.  Almost palatable!

Having ignited some appetites, or just the need to get the taste out of our mouths, Bryan pulled out a ginormous can of dolmas. Apparently, Amber and Jenny went halvsies in this ridiculously sized can, and the phrase, "such a good deal", was used multiple times.

Trying to get a photo of Bryan's ever so skilled dolma plating technique, Amber just had to add her own flair.  At this point, I no longer question why Amber does what she does. I just embrace it, and then post it online.

I had been waiting for our final guest, Travis, to arrive, determined to get a good photo of someone making a sour face after eating one of those sour Gurts.  When he finally got here we subtly offered his a tasty yogurt treat.  I had the camera ready as he popped one in his mouth and...

He liked them?!?!?  That doesn't make for a good photo!  I guess I already have him crying on this blog, so it's only fair that I don't also have one of him making a stank face.

By then it was about time for Jenny, Amber, and I to finish our dishes (no I'm not done cooking yet).  Amber got the kebabs going, Jenny started on her rice, and I heated up some oil to do some deep frying!

Note: as Amber was getting ready to start grilling, Bryan agreed to start the grill for her but insisted multiple times that she will be doing all the actual grilling herself.  We will revisit this story line shortly, pay attention folks.

My oil almost hot enough, I peer into Jenny's pot on the stove top next to mine.  As I did so, Jenny confidently, with a hint of aggression, plopped/threw two whole, unpeeled heads of garlic into the pot and looked up at me into my eyes, possibly into my soul, with an expression on her face as if to say, "DARE NOT CHALLENGE ME!"

I just stared back in shock, my emotions running wild.  So many thoughts passed through my head...
What the hell is she doing?
Is this some sort of joke?
No, there's no hint of her reaching to fish them out, she is definitely serious about this.
Why is she staring at me like that?
She did that very confidently.
Since she was so intentional about this she must know what shes doing.
Right?

Though only a faction of a second passed she was already giggling uncontrollably at my dumbfounded reaction.  Still, she managed to get enough words out to reassure me that, yes, this was what the recipe called for, and yes, we all agree that it was weird.  Accept it and move on.

Though my oil hot enough, it was clear that Jenny's dish was going to take a little longer than expected.  Deep fry a yogurt ball to pass the time?  Why not?  It was in the oil only for a few second before we pulled it out, now brown. Most of us had the same thought and started yelling, "Bryan!" Reluctantly our taste tester took a bite and reported that it was worst deep fried. The inside had remained unchanged, now just surrounded in a thin layer of burnt. Bleh.

Amber an Bryan away grilling, and Jenny and I at the stove, Steven pull out his salad to mix all the ingredients together. When we next turned around to look what Steven was doing, he was vigorously shaking the salad container. Jenny and I both watched for about a second before yelling together, "Shake that salad!" Great minds, am I right?  Opposite of our sentiment, our outburst immediately caused Steven to stop shaking the salad, place the container down, and stare back at us bashfully. After a short while Jenny and I lost interest in making Steven super self-conscious and we returned to our own dishes. Little does Steven know, I snuck a video of his mad shaking skills after he returned to his work.

I finished with the oil, so of course we were going to deep fry a dolma. It really spit and danced in the oil, and we only pulled it out when it seemed to start to unwrap. After we pulled it out we searched for our trusty taste tester, but he was busy at the grill and out of ear shot.

I say again, Bryan, not Amber, was busy grilling.  HA.

Table set, most of the food on the table, it was a perfect time to try the yogurt drink I made. After our experience with the balls, everyone looked less than enthused.  We decided to do shots of the drink, as nobody wanted to commit to much (or any) of it.  The plain version was plain.  I had also made one with cucumber, parsley, and dill (DILL!!!), so I pour that one out for a select few that didn't find the plain one totally off-putting.  This version, I actively enjoyed.  I did not, however, strain the herbs, which was a mistake.  After downing it, I had a tongue full of green and had to spit it out.  So I borrowed a strainer and filtered out a glass of the drink to enjoy with dinner.  So good.  Still have some in my fridge.

Bryan, too lazy to put in the effort for a selfie, took a nice group shot before we got going.

That was lie.  I had already started eating.

This dinner was beautiful with the rainbow of colors.  It also looked, dare I say it, healthy.

Included was the spread I made with the suzme, one of my personal favorites.  I'm so amazed that the balls, drink, and spread was all made from the same tub of yogurt, but they all tasted so different.

We ate until bursting, per the usual. I think most agreed that it was the best meal yet.

(Celebrated April 29th, 2017)

Armenia + Azerbaijan (= UN Dinner for DAYS.)

Like San Marino, Armenia and Azerbaijan joined the UN on March 2nd, 1992.

Every dinner I get so involved in cooking my recipes (or eating them) I don't think about taking the photos I'm always demanding from others for this blog.  At the other end of the spectrum, Amber always takes the most thorough photo catalog of prep work and cooking, and this week was no different.

I would typically add all these photos to the recipe page, but I needed to share here series of skilled shots in the blog at least once.  Quite the production, right?

I did most of my prep at home, but left the cooking (which involves a lot of flour) for Jenny's.  I did not strategize my clothing selection base on this fact.  Black was a bad choice.  I ended covering myself in flour.  When I was done I had to step out into the hall to shake myself off.

Before I knew it we were ready, and once I started I could not stop.  It was so good and I inhaled it.  It went from this:

To this:
















In no time flat.

I was very impressed with the wide range of flavors from dish to dish, and even within single dishes.  They were all so different, and all so gooooooood.  We had to take a break before dessert, but it only took about one board game round to work up the appetite to dig in.

I filled my plate to overflowing for both dinner and dessert, as did everyone, but we didn't make a dent.

When we started these dinners we had some problems with portion control, and we would make more food in one dish than everyone was capable of eating, never mind the other dishes.  Over time we have been able to train ourselves to make a reasonable amount of food.  It's like we went back to square negative one for this dinner.

I made one dish (half recipe for both vegetarian and meat options), Amber made one dish, but 3 different kinds of filling, Jenny made two very big salads, Julie made two desserts plus a rice dish, on top of Allard's two loaves of bread.  11 dishes, 5 people.  Holy cow, there was SO MUCH FOOD.  There were piles left, and nobody brought enough containers for the leftovers and had to resort to ziplock bags and saran wrap.  We were going to be eating UN diner for days.  Literally, for days.

I did not go grocery shopping this week.

(Celebrated April 1st, 2017)

San Marino (Holy Connoli that was good. Pun intended.)

San Marino is a land-locked microstate completely surrounded by Italy who joined the UN on March 2nd, 1992.  This can only mean one thing...

Italian food, Italian food, Italian food, Italian food, ITALIAN FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!

Cibo Italiano, andiamo!!!!

This is where my friends would chime in and say, "IT'S NOT ITALIAN FOOD! IT'S SAN MARINESE FOOD!", something I heard at least 3 times during the dinner.

When we were coming up with recipes it sorta went like...
I'm making a pasta dish, what are you making?  Oh, you're making a past dish too?  And you're also making pasta.  Pasta, pasta, pasta.  And soup, apparently.

I chose to make Swallows Nests, aka Pasta Flowers.  Of course I got the tune to San Francisco immediately stuck in my head, with a few minor lyrical changes of course:

If you're goiiiiiiing to Saaaaan Maaaaaarinoooooooo

Be sure to eeeeeeeeeeat some Pasta Flowers over theeeeeeeeeere!

Early in the day of the dinner Amber was nice enough to share her work in progress consisting of what I have been dubbing the "pasta tree":

Hands down, best UN dinner photo since we started these dinners.  I dare anyone not to get excited about a meal after see that.

After I finished kneading, simmering, chopping, rolling, and baking, Jenny picked me up and we were on our way.

Fyi, super excited about Jenny driving.  It meant I could partake in the 5 bottles of wine I was bringing to the dinner.  Though, there was a clause in the agreement I wasn't aware of until we were almost there.  Apparently, as my DD, I had entered into a silent agreement that I was to be her entertainment for the evening.  I think I met this agreement when I blurted out one of my classic mis-worded questions, aided by the wine I brought: "How do you wink with both eyes?"  At which point someone responded with, "You mean blinking?"  Not what I meant, but that did't stop everyone from laughing hysterically at me.  It's okay, I'm used to it.

Dinner was SO GOOD.  As soon as everyone started digging in it got pretty quiet pretty quick.

People slowed down pretty quick too.  There was a lot of pausing and staring at some still very full plates.  I imagined that during those moments everyone was trying to will their stomachs to double in size so they could keep going.  They tried too.  That's how good it was.

We even managed to cram down the cannolis Bryan picked up for dessert.  The best part about them was not how delicious they were (and they were), but because they somehow lead to a discussion about how Jenny isn't a big fan of nuts.  I will leave you to interpret said comment however you wish.  We chose to interpret it in a juvenile and immature way.

After dinner and clean up we played a few of our favorite drawing games before we (Jenny) called it quits.  Probably a good thing.  I had a long day of regretting this meal planned for tomorrow, and I needed to start early.  And I did.  Still do.  But at least I plenty of time to get the post out without delay!

(Celebrated February 25th, 2017)

Croatia, Slovenia, & Bosnia-Herzegovina (#BigSweatyBalls)

First dinner of the new year!

Croatia, Slovenia, & Bosnia-Herzegovina (aka Bosnia) joined the UN May 22nd, 1992.

The pressure was on for this dinner.  Up until now we have had no way of knowing how authentic our meals have been, but this time Amber invited a coworker with Croatian roots.  Someone who could actually tell us how how close (or far off) our recipes are to the real thing.  Oh crap.

Unlike my last recipe, I managed to keep this recipe in one piece. My apartment smelt good!

On the way to the dinner I picked up our regional culinary expert slash food judge and Amber.  After some food Tetris in my car we were off!  My car smelt gooooooood!

There were already a few people working on their recipes.  Mine was done, and miraculously stayed hot even two hours after it was pulled off the stove, so I got the pleasure of drinking beer while watching the masters at work.  Awe man, that house smelt GOOD.  I pretty sure everyone was uncomfortably excited for this dinner.  O maybe that was just me projecting.

There were so many dishes we did it buffet style.

Amber also brought a party in a box, aka regional beer and plum brandy, and boy did it get the party going.  We had several thrilling conversations about a variety of subjects including, but not limited to, honey, burned thumbs, the uses of honey (to cure said burned thumbs), dinosaur ladles, and big sweaty balls.  There was even a video of someone getting owned by a sheep I think.

We made it through the main dishes our judge declared that he thought we did a great job, and had no issues with any of the dishes.  NAILED IT!!!




PS, I promised myself it wouldn't take me as long to post as it did the last one.  FAIL.  I made the mistake of trying to wait until I got the photos and recipes from my fellow UN diners, but I can wait no longer.  I can only say I have most of the recipes, and since I don't have a nice group shot, I sketched it out so you can get the feel:

PPS, here's some "big sweaty balls":

(Celebrated January 14th, 2017)

Georgia (My dumplings are bursting at the thought)

You may compare the date on this post to the date that this dinner was celebrated.  Shameful, I know.  In my defense, it's been a busy month!  The day of the dinner was no different.

The night before I made the fillings.  No issues there.

First thing in the morning I made the dough, stuffed the dumplings, and cooked them.  These dumpling are supposed to be very juicy.  When you take your first bite, you are supposed to suck out all the juice before eating the rest.  I think I rolled it out too thin so when I put them in the boiling water most of them burst.  How disappointed was I!  I would usually try again, but because I was on a schedule I didn't have the time so I unhappily piled the mess of broken dumpling sacks and loose meatballs into a container.

How they are supposed to look:

How they ended up looking:

After practicing my French Horn for an hour I left for my concert.  Warm-up, performance, cheers of admiration, and I was off to the dinner, my mess of a recipe in tow.

Dinner was being held at a new venue.  Our hosts have tried to attend several times but due to, well, life, they were never able to make it.  This time their attendance was guaranteed.  It was at their house.

I made the mistake of trusting google blindly, and I ended up waiting for twenty minutes for a ferry to show up.  I arrive a little past seven, everyone politely waiting for me to start.

Quick, reheat my food, and dinner!

Similar to last time, 9 people were planning on attending.  Unlike last time, 9 people showed up!

With such a large group, there was quite a selection of dishes (including two desserts!), and it was all good.  Most in attendance had not experienced the glory that is the UN Dinner Party before, so it was really fun to hear sentiments from them that I had already been experiencing for over a year now.

Dinner barely over, and I'm already pumped for the next one!

Fyi, I remade the dumplings with the leftovers I had in my fridge the next day.  They came out perfect!

(Celebrated December 3rd, 2016)

Czech Republic & Slovakia (Make enough for 9! No wait, just 5. Um... I think there will only be 3.)

Both the Czech Republic and Slovakia joined the UN January 19th, 1993.

As we dictated earlier in the year, since they joined at the same time, are located next to each other, and have very similar food, we decided to celebrate them together.  When we divvied who would do what I got assigned Slovakia.

While perusing through the various options for Slovakian... correction... Slovak dishes to make I started noticing a patter of rich, hearty and/or cheesy dishes that made me drool.  It also made me crave vegetables, so my next search was "Slovak vegetable recipe".  I was sold when my eyes landed on stuffed tomatoes.

With an anticipated attendance of a new record, 9 people, I made sure to buy enough for 10 tomatoes, expecting 1-2 leftover tomatoes that I could enjoy sometime during the following week.  One of our guests would also be attending during his birthday, so I agreed to make something that we could stick a candle in.  After a short period of searching I landed on a Slovak pound cake.  Simple and easy, yet delicious!

The day before Amber (aka "would-be host" of the Czech Republic/Slovakia dinner party) reaches out and asks if I would be willing to host.  Her house was still under construction from some roof issues and it wasn't in a state to accommodate the crowd we were expecting.  Looking around my less than 600 square foot, single bedroom apartment, I was like... sure!

The following morning was spent tidying up, making sure I had enough beverages for 9, and pulling out my folding tables and chairs.

After texting Amber to bring the last few chairs I would need, she responds that a few people could no longer make it since my place was much further away than hers.  We were down to 5.

Not a problem!  Actually, much more manageable in my tiny apartment.  So I put away my card table and left the long one up.  I was also able to put away a chair.  I decided I still would make all of the tomatoes and the cake, since more leftovers for me, and the birthday boy was still coming.

Or so I thought.

I finish cooking...

...when Jenny shows up to cook her meal, and she tells me a few more people dropped out.  One is sick, the other is double booked.  It was going to be 3-4 people, depending on if Bryan shows.

He didn't.  But his Czech/Slovak beer did!

So it's down to the original three.  The Three Musketeers!  The Fantastic Three!  The three without which the dinners could not and would not be held!

It got weird.

Maybe it was because it was raining, but there was something in the air.  I tried taking a photo of my lovely co-musketeers twice, but SOMEbody was unable to pull herself together.

Let's take another look...

There was some slurring of words, odd conversations, trying on of Halloween masks, ending in doing the P.P.A.P. with full participation.

If you don't know what that is, don't feel bad.  I didn't either.  And I still don't.

All in all it was a fantastic dinner party.  The food was deeeee-licious, the company was... "superb" would be an understatement, and at the end of the day we were all quite proud of ourselves since we made the perfect amount of food.

For 9 people.

(Celebrated October 1st, 2016)

Macedonia (That food may be Gouda, but this one is Feta!)

Sorry.  Was that joke "cheesy"?

Macedonia (aka the The Former Yugoslav Republic of Macedonia) joined the UN on April 8th, 1993.  The first thing I learned about Macedonia is that a 90% of their meals include some type of feta cheese.

Ok, so maybe that's not true, but it was for this dinner!

This was our first Friday dinner.  In order to allow for people to "decompress" after work, we scheduled it for 8pm.  In order to compensate for that unusually late dinner (my normal is 6pm at the latest) I had a pre-dinner meal, but it didn't help much once everyone started cooking.  Especially since everything had feta in it.  Mmmmmmm, feta!

It was a fairly calm dinner.  I prefer when it gets rowdy.  I blame Friday.  But, it was good!

Between the hunger and the tired, I don't think anyone was very careful about making sure we got good pictures.  We managed to piece together enough of a thought to take two pictures.  One of my plate:

Clockwise starting at 12: Cheese Dip, Shopska Salata, Burek,
and Mamaliga in the middle.

 And the other which turned out to be the worst group selfie ever:

I was too hungry and tired to try again.  That and it was a new phone and I didn't know how to turn on the flash.  We're only smiling because we're finally getting to eat.  Notice that one of us couldn't smile very well as his mouth was already full.

Now that I think about it, this was the best selfie ever.

(Celebrated August 12, 2016)